Overweight+Sexy= What? ....You tell me.

Okay so I NEED responses to this post.

So... I am sick of feeling like being larger than "average-size" is something I have to apologize for or work my way into a conversation with a blind-date potential. What am I going on about you ask? Well, here is the scenario...

I am shy. Regardless of my physical attributes, I would be a shy girl. However, given my less than perfect physique, I feel even less secure about being attractive to potential or future dates. So given the combination of the two things. Shy+extra weight= I simply do not date. (That rhymes *smile*, but moving on...) I don't date, and for a good long while I haven't even tried. I have decided to avoid hoping to be attractive to the guys that I happen to find attractive. As friends of mine can attest, I am very unfortunately most often attracted to skinny, white boys. (Just a side note; I am attracted to many shades of beautiful men...so don't think I'm excluding anyone) The point here is the stature of the men, not the skintone. They are always skinny and I, well, er.... am not so skinny. And it seems like the men I usually find myself crushing on never seem to reciprocate. Being underconfident, I then assume this passive-rejection must mean I am not physically their type. Meaning: I assume they think I'm fat.

Now...don't go reading this thinking you are going to cure my 27 year long self image issues, by telling me I'm wrong, or I am a swell girl and this is all nonsense, because...the thing is, I KNOW it is nonsense. At least to a point. I know there are probably guys out there who would be happy to date me, thrilled perhaps. My problem is believing that. And so therein lies my scenario and question for you all:

I actually responded to an ad on Craigslist in the M4W column yesterday. Several of my girlfriends are CL junkies and always responding to or posting their own ads. And they do, actually meet and date people this way sometimes. Even my introverted, more-shy-than-me roommate posted and responded to an ad the other day (after a lot of hypocritical pep-talking from me). So anyway, I responded to this particular ad, not totally intending to let anything come of it when all is said and done. But also hoping that if the post-er of the ad did in fact email me back...I would in the meantime have summoned up the guts to "potentially" meet him at some point. So I wrote him back, trying to be as sweet, charming and honest as I could about myself. He had mentioned some of his physical traits, (sounds like a skinny, white boy, of course)...and I, in turn tried to do the same. I have described myself over the phone before and even online, and I try to leave out the weight thing, but, if I must, I try and use the word "voluptuous" when possible. But, this time I tried to be less alluring. I just said I was on the "thicker" side of the size chart or something to that effect. And it got me thinking.

How should plus-size women describe their plus-size bodies? What is a good word? Roomy, sounds like a luxury sized towncar. Chubby, sounds like you should be wearing a muumuu. Voluptuous, sounds like a fat-girl trying to make her extra weight sound sexy. And overweight just means fat to most people. And as bad as my self-esteem is I never think of myself as fat, even if maybe other people do. SO, HERE IS THE QUESTION: What is a flattering word for women who are bigger? I wouldn't put this much emphasis on calling attention to my weight with a perfect stranger, but it seems that men want to know...how do you look? and they don't just want eye color.

*****

Yes, in the end I realize that someone who cares that much how I look, doesn't really care that much about who I am. And one of my resolutions this year is to not focus so much on my weight and rather spend that time improving and enjoying who I am. But, it is an interesting question nonetheless and one I would be curious to hear answers for...tell me descriptive words you've heard that you think are empowering or flattering, or make a better one up.